learning how not to fish for compliments can really help how you interact with others. here’s some common phrases i’ve noticed:
“here’s my shitty art”
“lol i’m so ugly in this selfie”
“you’re so creative. i’m nowhere near as creative as you”
“your writing is amazing! i wish mine was that good”
what all of these have in common is that they all involve putting yourself down. when you do that, those around you feel obligated to compliment you, which can make them feel frustrated that they have to just to be polite. not only that, but by talking yourself down you feel worse about yourself. the latter two phrases also centre your problems, distracting the attention from the person you’re trying to compliment. that often makes them feel bad!
here’s how to fix those phrases:
“here’s my art”
“selfie time!”
“you’re so creative. how do you do it?”
“your writing is amazing! do you have any tips?”
by cutting out the negativity, you make it so nobody feels obligated to compliment you. you’ll usually get more compliments this way because people don’t feel uncomfortable! the latter two phrases now also centre the artist and their knowledge. not only do they make the artist feel good, they also might score you some good advice.
this strategy will also help to boost your confidence in the long run. if you stop prefacing every compliment with negativity, you’ll be able to internalise them better.
if you guys look it up there’s pictures of them like wrestling and hanging out and just generally being good ol boys who love each other and it’s really cute
All gamers simultaneously, beginning to sweat: “…Why do I have to run”
Horror Game: “You can hide in closets”
All gamers, colour draining from their face as an instinctual, primal terror grips them: “WHY DO I HAVE TO HIDE”
my favorite thing about watching Outlast lets plays would be seeing the player get to the part where it tells you “press [button] to look behind you while running”
Everyone going shopping on Black Friday, be aware of three things:
The retail workers are working 12 hours shifts. We are threatened with losing our jobs if we don’t show up unless we’re dying in the hospital. I had an assistant manager show up with fucking strep because he would’ve been fired otherwise. Yes, he did infect 7 and hospitalize 2 coworkers; who knows how many members of the public he infected.
The stores have, maybe, 5 of that special cheap thing you’re after. Corporate does this on purpose, and stores are not allowed to order enough. The prices aren’t even that much lower. They lie about how expensive something is to fool you into thinking you’re getting a discount. You aren’t.
Most of the workers you will come across will be new hires for the sole purpose of being bodies for about three months before they’re fired. They actually don’t know anything because they’ve been working there for maybe two weeks, and have had no real training. I was once hired at Staples a week before Black Friday and expected to know how to deal with phones, coupons, the online ordering site, and AS400 after five 6-hour shifts. This is the kind of person you will likely be dealing with at Black Friday.
Do me and my retail family a favor and don’t shop Black Friday. Any company that needs a sale day like Black Friday to get their sales out of the red doesn’t deserve to be in business.
This also goes for anyone that works shipment too. We’re suddenly expected to stay as late as they want you to even if they know you don’t have a car and rely on a ride to get you to and from work and know you can’t stay late. Shipment workers will suddenly start getting berated for not getting things done and it is by far the most stressful time to be a shipment worker for any store. Especially when they throw in new hires that don’t know how to process things and are expected to work at the same pace as the people that have worked there for a while.
Retail is shit around the holidays, especially Black Friday
ok fellow millenials, it’s time to kill black friday
People always gloss over how mentally damaging it can be to work in retail. I fucking hate that whenever I say “I could never work in retail again” someone has to reply “You snowflake millennials can’t take a starter job because you have to INTERACT with other people” No. Fuck you. I’ve worked as a planetarium host. I’ve worked as a public speaker. I’ve worked as a tutor and as a student teacher. I can work with people. I can work with crowds. Retail was fucking different. Retail was being treated as a subhuman. Retail was being treated so poorly that you have anxiety attacks before work. Having to work retail was a factor in my last suicide attempt. If I hear you say one fucking word about retail workers playing the victim I will personally break every bone in your body. Fuck You.
The holidays are coming up. Retail workers are going to be spiraling into a nightmare beyond human comprehension. If you’ve worked retail, you know this. If you haven’t, be aware of it. Please be kind to every retail worker you come across. Please be patient and understanding. It is misery out there.
Be kind, be patient, be understanding, and also a thing I’ve done a couple of times:
If you see a cashier who is clearly at the end of their rope, take a minute in their line. Tell them it’s okay, to grab a drink of water, take a deep breath, collect themselves. Say you can wait and mean it. Give them a moment to be human before they have to throw themselves back into it. And if they seem puzzled, or even a little “no no no I can do it” panicky, here is the magic phrase:
“Hon, I know someone who works retail. Just take a deep breath. I’ve got an idea what this must be like.”
You will be horrified how much stress you will see just pour out of them in a wave when they take that deep breath. You will also have just made the rest of their shift a million times easier.
I just kinda wanna add something to this cause it got me in a mood while reading it…
I only lasted three months in a retail job. I got it only to make my parents feel better about me being employed. And honestly all things considered I didn’t have a bad time, none of the horror stories I hear others talk about. I never had a memorably rude customer, my coworkers and supervisors were all great and respected my availability, I did well at the job, the company I worked for even closed on most major holidays. I had no real reason to be miserable.
But I absolutely did. I spent those three months vividly fantasizing about driving into the opposite lane in the way to work, or “accidentally” falling off a ladder in the back. Because the whole damn culture surrounding this work is toxic.
I wasn’t allowed to know my schedule until the week before, and there was no consistency to the hours I was given. Any moment you weren’t Doing Something was not allowed. You had to clock in and out in a tablet so that you took exactly the amount of time you were allowed for your breaks. If someone didn’t show you were just expected to stay late or take on more responsibility. Pay was not worth the amount of work I was required to do. Incessant music should be, in my opinion, classified as torture (especially fucking country music). I felt like a cog in the wheel, like I didn’t matter. No amount of good coworkers could fix that.
I didn’t have a bad time in retail, not comparatively. But the whole environment was one where I wanted to die.
I work at a library now. It’s quiet. My skills are useful in creative and stimulating ways instead being expected to constantly be busy with rote repetitive busywork. I don’t have to clock in on a damn tablet to perfectly measure how long I took my break. My hours are consistent and if someone can’t show up, they ASK if I can stay and if I can’t, a manager will cover it. I feel like an individual and not a piece in a machine to generate revenue. I’m doing pretty much similar things even: I help people, I do customer service, I organize and make displays. But there’s a huge difference in the environments and how the structure of the job treats me.
I have no doubt that it’s possible for retail to be a decent job, but not until the environment that’s been created is addressed and completely rehauled.
Consulting Witch 